The Physicians Predicament
by brownpaperbags
Summary: Gaius's first few days with the young Merlin and his thoughts on the matter of his arrival.


The boy would be trouble, there was no doubt about that. Gaius could feel it in his bones, much the same way he felt an impending storm approaching. The king was often amused by his physicians affliction and Gaius repeatedly stopped himself from reminding the king that he was hardly young himself and would, one day, very soon share Gaius' talent at weather forecasting. Gaius frowned as his thoughts turned to Uther. The king, of course was the root of the problem.

Gaius wondered why on earth Hunith had decided to send the boy here, knowing, perhaps better than anyone, Uther's regard to magic. Therein lay the second problem. Magic. The boy had it in spades, the power all but radiating off him and though it had been many years since Gaius had felt the exhilarating ebb and flow of magic through his veins the unmistakable tug of power was there. Merlin flung magic around with no apparent effort and when he had casually told the physician that he had never been taught, Gaius found himself flummoxed. He informed Merlin that he was question that had never been posed before and now he was being forced to pose it to himself. What to do with an untrained warlock?

He could send him home, of course, but found himself strangely adverse to this course of action. The blind trust the boy put in him was both touching and terrifying. It was an uncommon trait these days and it saddened him to know that it could not last forever, especially if the boy wanted to live through his coming years. Besides, if Gaius sent him home he would never hear the end of it from Hunith and the memory of her heartfelt pleas sent snakes of guilt slithering in his belly at the mere thought of sending the young back to Ealdor.

Yet, Gaius could not help but believe that Merlin's presence in Camelot would do more harm than good. The king would not hesitate to kill him if his magic was discovered, something he knew from his experiences during the Great Purge. The very memory of that time and what he had felt forced to do made the bile rise in his throat. So many people. So many deaths. He could never live with himself if something happened to the trusting, innocent boy before him, yet he knew that if the king found out there would be nothing Gaius could do to save him.

It was then that he made his decision. Hunith's anger at his refusal to have him would be much easier to weather than the boy's death upon his shoulders. He turned to tell the boy beside him that he must go and return to his mother, but the expression on the boy's face stopped him.

"Gaius," he said quietly. "I just wanted to thank you, for everything. Letting me stay, keeping my secret. It…well, it means a lot."

Gaius barely remembered his reply. He was lost in his thoughts again and once more found himself without a path. The boy had seemed so grateful and Gaius knew he had never had a father. The man was still out there, of course, but neither the son or the father were aware of each other and for whatever reason Hunith had decided to keep it that way. He wondered what it might feel like to have the power Merlin possessed, but with no understanding of what it was or how it should be used. He imagined Merlin often felt out of control, dangerous even and sorrow filled the physicians heart. The boy needed a mentor, someone who could teach him about the wonders he had been gifted.

His decision made the night passed amicably enough and as Gaius came to know the boy better he never once regretted his choice. Of course, it did not take long for the aforementioned trouble to come barreling into them.

He had sent Merlin on a few errands around town, believing it a simple enough task to start the boy off. Oh, how wrong he'd been. He received word from one of the little servant boys that Merlin had been put in the dungeons and a thread of fear crept into the physician's heart. He was greatly relieved to be informed that there had been a slight scuffle, only to have the fear rear its head once more upon learning who that altercation had been with.

The boy did nothing halfheartedly. Getting into a fight with the crown prince was certainly a way to start off his time here. He felt the anger and frustration rising as he made his way to Arthur's chambers to plead for the boys release.

Gaius had known the young crown prince since he was born and though the circumstances surrounding his birth were dark and treacherous, the boy was surprisingly mild mannered. Compared to his father, that is. The physician had treated many scrapes, bruises, and coughs since Arthur's birth and as a result the prince had somewhat of a soft spot for him.

"Gaius," Arthur called warmly, not looking up from his papers, but acknowledging him all the same. "What brings this unexpected pleasure?"

"I beg your apologies, sire," Gaius said respectfully. "But I have a favor to ask of you."

Arthur looked up at him then and frowned. He was not used to this man asking anything of him and he became slightly concerned.

"What is it? Is something wrong?"

"No, sire. It really is not a matter of great importance. Well, that is to say, it is not important to anyone else but me, sire.

"Ask it," came Arthur's immediate reply. "If it is in my power to do so count it granted."

"I thank you sire," Gaius smiled. "But perhaps you should know the nature of my favor before you agree to it so quickly."

Arthur did not reply to this but continued to stare expectantly at Gaius so he continued.

"I believe you had an altercation with a young man today," Gaius began.

"He's yours then," Arthur asked, grimacing at the memory of the insolent man. He would never admit it, but he had actually rather enjoyed the exchange. He wasn't quite sure what that said about him so he opted not to think about it.

"Yes, sire," Gaius continued. "He just arrived in Camelot last night from a village just beyond your borders. He did not know to whom he was speaking, but I believe that if he had he would have chosen his words more carefully."

Gaius seriously doubted that Merlin would have changed anything, regardless of whether he knew who Arthur was, but he didn't tell the prince that.

"You want me to free him," Arthur said knowingly.

"Yes sire, if it would not be too much trouble. I will speak to him about his actions and make sure he is chastised properly."

Arthur noted the physicians lack of conviction when it came to punishing his ward, but did not comment on it. The truth was that he owed Gaius far too much to deny him this simple request, even if it did wrinkle his feathers to let the boy go.

"I will free him," Arthur said quietly. "On one condition."

"Name it," Gaius said without hesitation.

"Its been awhile since we've had anyone in the stocks."

Gaius had no choice but to agree.

The physician had hoped, hoped being the operative word, that Merlin had obtained at least some sense of urgency in regards to hiding his secret. His wishes were immediately dashed when, barely two days later, his ward and the prince were at each others throats once more. He was horrified to learn that Merlin was using magic right before Arthur's eyes, but the prince was too angry to notice.

Gaius briefly wondered, as he watched the two boys fight, whether fate was purposely bringing the boys together with some greater intention in mind, but he quickly shrugged those thoughts aside. Not only were they ridiculous but if that were the case than fate had a ghastly sense of humor. He briefly caught Merlin's eye and he was glad to see that the boy at least had the decency to look ashamed. He winced then as the end of the broom Arthur was using as a weapon collided with top part of his wards back. He heard the young man cry out as he was roughly pulled to his feet, but was pleasantly surprised when the prince put out a hand to stop them.

From where Gaius was standing he could see Arthur staring at Merlin intensely for a long moment. Merlin met his eyes and held his gaze without fear and Gaius felt bewildered that even now, in the face of defeat, the young boy would not back down. Arthur seemed to appraise this as well, perhaps even admired it for not a moment later the guards had released him. Merlin brushed himself off then looked up and met the prince's gaze once more. Gaius could see Arthur's lips moving, but could not make out the words. Finally, after giving Merlin one last calculating glance the prince turned away and the crowds dispersed, knowing the show was over.

The two had barely said a word to each other on the way back to Gaius's chambers. The boys shoulders were tense but whether this was from his anger at Arthur or his fear of the trouble that awaited him once home, Gaius could not be sure.

The moment the door had shut behind them the two found themselves in their first fight. Strangely enough, Gaius could not help but feel that this would be precisely what it felt like to fight with a son. He desperately wanted to ensure the young man's safety, but like every young man, the boy was confident in his actions. Gaius made it a point to try and explain that magic was not to be used in such a manner, but it came out with more anger and frustration than he had planned. The result was a look of such hurt and pure hopelessness that it pained Gaius to see it.

"If I can't use magic than what have I got."

The words echoed in his ears long after the boy had retired to his room. It would be difficult, surely. Knowing that you are different from everyone else, but not understanding why would be an extremely lonely existence. Even more painful would be denying a part of yourself that others would never understand. Gaius knew that the boy and magic were not separate beings, but one half of a whole. Merlin was magic and vice versa. How could he expect the boy to deny half of who he was?

Gaius opened a drawer beside his bed and removed the fake bottom he had installed so many years ago. From within its depths he tenderly removed a worn book and held it in his hands, memories from a different time pouring forth the moment his old fingers touched the worn leather. This had been his, long ago, before the death of the queen had changed everything. Gaius knew he was far too old for magic now and the book had served its purpose, for him anyways. He looked towards Merlin's door and felt a rush of affection for the boy.

Gaius did not know what the future held for him, but he felt sure that the boy was to be part of greater plan. He would do what he could for the boy. Nurture, comfort, console, teach and of course, straighten him out when he needed it. Gaius was not conscious of his decision but he had decided right then and there that he would be a father to the man and perhaps, along the way, Merlin would relieve the old physician of his own guilt and fears.


End file.
